I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
