you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
