I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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