The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
