you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
