Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
