I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
