I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Brb crying the tears of my youth
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
