I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
