Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Randomize
