somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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