I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
