And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
