Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
