HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
