lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
