You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
