I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
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