This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
