One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
