Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
