hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
