So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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