clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
