Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
