carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
