Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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