Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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