Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
drinking out of a sandbucket again
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
