I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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