I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
