apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
