I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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