Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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