hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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