I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
