whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
