Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
