I hate your face
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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