From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
