it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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