I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
