he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
