So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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