totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
