If i come over, it means nothing
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
