I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
