The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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