party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
