Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
