I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
