I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
